It Happened Last Night: SCANDAL!

Okay, so it wasn't a literal scandal. It was a party dubbed "SCANDAL!" And I was invited. As a VIP. I hope you're impressed.

It's film-festival mania in Toronto right now, and I'm happily immersed in the chaos thanks to my ShoeMinx job. Instead of being on the periphery as I have every other year, this year I'm in on the party-circuit action. So last night, I showed up at a tabloid-themed swankified affair and sipped wine on a patio with the beautiful ones, all with ridiculously amazing résumés and connections.

I'm not necessarily an expert at the introduction. Or the schmooze. But I met some of the most impressive game-players I've ever encountered.

• "This is Nadine. She's our darling writer....[insert a really impressive intro that I didn't know I was deserving of]."

• "Oh, you're with [guy I apparently work for but have never met]. You should head over there. Please enjoy the open bar." I'm led away from the common folk to the VIP lounge.

• "This is ****. He married [British beauty], the supermodel. He's filthy rich. He drives [list of Ferrari-type vehicles]. And now he's bloody drunk."

• "He was the lawyer who successfully sued [major tobacco company]. The movie The Insider was based on him. And now he's the man behind [shoe company]. You know, the ones [insert hip-hop celeb] wears."

• "Come with me, darling." After kissing my hand, he leads me through a crowd of people. The guest list looks like a model-casting call. "What can I get you? Vodka? Wine? Oh, you must." He pours me a drink and then acts interested in my little career, despite him being lauded internationally.

• "See that man? He's, like, the most successful independent-film producer ever. He's worked on [insert intimidatingly endless list of movies I actually quite enjoy]."
  

Last night, I made the transition from subtitler-who-writes to writer. I'm no longer boxed in by the world of grammar-correction and reading-speed violations; rather, I'm a freelancer with a pretty cool assortment of jobs and am completely justified in hanging out with industry people. Of course, if such an excursion were to become a regular thing, I would need to update my wardrobe. But that's a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make.

P.S. I officially prefer drunk Brits to drunk non-Brits. The charm factor is actually increased with alcohol. Instead of the scumbag factor associated with Canadian frat boys and sleazy old men.

P.P.S. That said, I still prefer sober-anybody to drunk-anybody.