Monday, November 10, 2008

[Don't] Call Me

Because girls are confusing.

I’ve never wanted the phone to not ring as much as I do right now. I’m concentrating all of my block-the-airwaves energy toward that annoying piece of metal and plastic on my kitchen table, willing it to remain silent. Lulling it into a coma. I could just turn it off, but then I risk the dreaded voicemail message and subsequent responsibility of returning the phone call. Which I do not want to do.

Maybe I should call someone. Anyone but him. And then he’ll get a busy signal. A hint that I have a life outside of him. That I’m not even thinking of him. Even though, of course, the entire phone-occupying conversation will exist because of him. Because I do not want to hear his voice.

~Nadine, running away, even older journal


A. said...

Have you considered taking the phone off the hook?

nadine said...

Okay, so the "even older journal" part is a little misleading. Because the entry was written when I didn't have a land line, just a cell phone. So I couldn't leave it off the hook and let the busy signal screen my calls :)

So this isn't THAT old. But it is older than the entry before it. Promise.