Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Flirtation 101: Streetcar Edition

Today on the streetcar, I had a rather fascinating lesson in the art of flirtation. Let me set the stage.

The boy: a cute, clean-cut Mormon (name tag and all) who could probably get a job modeling for a JCrew-style catalog. A lesser-known version of JCrew. He could be a part-time model (to steal an observation from my Conchord boys). I'll call him PrepBoy.

The girl: a crazy woman who sounds like a man. I'll call her LocoGirl.

LocoGirl: But you look so nice. I'm surprised you haven't been asked by Playgirl to be in the magazine.
PrepBoy: Nope. Just church stuff.
LocoGirl: Wow, you got such huge muscles. Do you use Crest Whitestrips? Your teeth are like pearls.
PrepBoy: No. I just brush them.

See how she complimented him? Engaged him in conversion? The next question to subtly spew out of her mouth was inquiring as to his marital status. And because he answered that he was single, she proceeded to tell him that she would marry him.

That's how you get to the point. No beating around the bush. She was interested. She complimented. And she proposed marriage.

Perhaps I make things too complicated.

Note to self: Next time you're hanging around a man who's captured your fancy, bring up dental hygiene, marriage and Playgirl. And do so loudly. In a public place. And according to today's lesson, be sure to sound like a man. It's sexier that way.


michael lewis said...

I wonder how many gay Mormons find themselves while on mission in a far-away-from-home city?

Or perhaps he was avoiding the street-(car)-girl because he was overcome with thoughts of whom to marry?

Check out Corb Lund's Brother Brigham, Brother Young for a good chuckle on Mormon culture in alt-country music. (Note: It's a song to expose the narator's multiple sins against Mormon culture. Perhaps my favourite line is where he declares that his fifth wife is not caucasian. Hilarious!)

nadine said...

I'm pretty sure he wasn't gay. He was just being hit on by a woman who sounded like a man. Although it IS Pride week....