Monday, May 12, 2008

Little Girl Me

I came across some old journals this past weekend. I'm finding them more depressing than entertaining. Partly because of their shallowness. Partly because I still resonate with some of what's written. And partly because Teenybopper Me needed a good shaking: "Wake up, Nadine! Take advantage of the great adventure that is adolescence! Stop pining and start living!" But that's what growing up is for. And what journal-writing is about when you're young. So I shall try to cut myself a little slack.

I want to get to know Little Girl Me again. But she didn't write very often. Or very well. Just in shallow little spurts about infatuations, preoccupied with a future that I'm not living.

I wish I knew then what I would want to read about now....

Today, ***** and I were pretending restaurant. It felt great. I was a young child again.

Lately I've been pretending a lot. I miss my childhood! Now I'm a kid again. It feels wonderful!

I like playing with dishes, Barbies, dolls and young children because it reminds me of innocence. No worries. Just fun.

Why can't we all feel this way?

~ Journal: Nadine, 11 years old
I was only 11 and already pining for my childhood. Tragic.


michael lewis said...

The other day I started to do my taxes (for 2006!), and as I was sorting through the mess that is my filing non-system, I found a stack of Amtelecom phone bills from when I lived in your family's basement. That was 12 or 13 years ago.

I also wrote journals then too. I wonder if mine would be as depressing?

nadine said...

And would your depressing journals be directly related to the fact that you lived with me?

"Dear diary, Nadine is the most insane/awkward/annoying child ever. If killing a minor weren't a felony...."

I miss the days of Larry blaring from the basement :)

michael lewis said...

Actually, I remember more Joel than Nadine. It was usually Joel stirring your mother's pot and causing strife. But that was a long time ago! When he was shorter than everyone but Nathan.