"The bag made me do it."

I went to the library after work today. I’m a big library fan. I blame this on my father. If you see me wandering through the stacks, it’s not because I’m lost. I worked at a library when I was in high school; I am well-acquainted with Dewey Decimal. I just happen to believe that I should give each book an equal opportunity to be read. And so I read about financial planning (I need to stop renting and invest in property of my own), true crime, Pilates, old Hollywood, interior design, and then I top it off with a novel or two (often picked somewhat randomly. Yes, I cover-judge).

The library excursion is not very plot-pertinent to my day, but I mention it because the event made me bring a canvas bag with me. This particular bag is clearly labeled: “Assembly 2004: Evangelical Missionary Church of Canada.” After filling it with a half-dozen books or so, I hopped on the streetcar and headed home.

Fast-forward to the subway. It’s packed. I’ve got an over-sized purse over one shoulder, a massive library bag over the other; I’m standing, trying to stay balanced while I fill out a crappy crossword puzzle (I tell you, you get what you pay for with those free newspapers). Finally, someone gets off so I can sit. I’m a little squished with two bags on my lap, but at least I’m no longer at risk of falling over.

There’s a cute little kid on the subway. Poor guy. He’s clearly tired and overwhelmed by the volume of people. A seat becomes available, and his mom tells him to take it. He runs for it, only to have a woman nearly sit on him. By nearly, I mean that her rear end actually touches his shoulder. She sees/feels the kid (who really is there first) and chooses to sit down anyway. Perhaps her pride won’t allow her to admit she sat on a toddler.

He starts whining. He loudly announces to everyone, “I want to sit down.” The response is the typical “how adorable” laughter, and yet no one moves. This is when I realize that my bag is facing him. The bag that announces, “This young woman identifies herself with the Church, and even more, with Jesus Christ.”

I tap him on the shoulder and offer him my seat. By the response around me, you would have thought that I just offered him my kidney. Nadine the superhero indulges the whiny kid.

I’m glad I gave up my seat. I just wish I didn’t need a bag to make me do it.

An unrelated side note: I seem to have misplaced two pairs of brown socks, two brown headbands, and two blue pens. If you happen to encounter twin thieves, please notify me.