Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I'm Not Catherine Zeta-Jones.

My friends used to make fun of the fact that I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to the whole flirtation thing. I am completely inept when it comes to scoping out the hot guy, or noticing when someone is "into" me. I'm cool with it. I don't think I could date a guy who goes out with girls who scope him out anyway.

Today, however, some kind of radar kicked in when I was at the grocery store. I could tell that there was a guy behind me looking at me. And I don't think it's just because I took the last head of lettuce (man, was I lucky that last one wasn't wilting). As the cashier was ringing in my order (just one head, that's it), the guy starts talking to me.

This was his opening line:

"Is that your natural hair colour?"

What is that? How do I respond to that? He's old and British, clearly priding himself in being a little hipper than his peers. He reminds me of Bill Nighy (all nice and creepy ala Love Actually). He could be my grandfather. If my grandfather hit on girls in their twenties.

Me: Sort of.
Creepyman: Oh, so it's tinted.
Me: Yeah. It was lighter.
Creepyman: Oh, 'cause I was wondering. You know, maybe your hair goes like that in the sun. It lightens to that.
Me: I haven't been out in the sun much yet.
Creepyman: Well, it's a beautiful colour.
Me: Thanks.

I grab my lettuce and run (hoping that the cashier will keep the guy from following me).

I am not Catherine Zeta-Jones. I don't really have a thing for old men. At least not grocery-store old men. I wonder if she met Michael Douglas in a grocery store.

Man, my neighbourhood sucks sometimes. I should hang out in Yorkville. At least those old men are wealthy.


Beth said...

ha ha, what a great story...

yesterday, meredith and i were driving, listening to music and she was dancing at the stoplight - until she noticed the old man in the van next to us watching. he says, "good dancing!" to which she replied, "uh...thanks!" and rolled forward so our windows weren't even...

nadine said...

Oh, I miss you guys. I want to dance at a stoplight.

I don't think the streetcar driver would appreciate it much...

michael lewis said...

I think you should dance on the streetcar. Without an iPod. Make it obvious that you don't have any music playing in your ears.

But if you're buying groceries in Yorkville, do not do the above. Do be sweet and friendly and entertain anyone who appears to have money. Money makes up for personality. Just look at Hollywood!

nadine said...

Don't worry. I've already eliminated personality from the non-negotiable list. Someone has to love the dull millionaires...