Sunday, July 16, 2006

Blogging Killed the Conversation Star

Wendy and I were chatting the other day (yeah!) when we hit a strange little bump in the conversation. I was telling her some charming little story about my mostly non-eventful life, when she responded, “I know. I read it in your blog.” That’s right, folks, the blog is now stripping me of conversation topics. I’m not sure if I should tell less, or lie more. I was actually contemplating starting up a completely fictional blog just for fun.

I am now completely ignoring my don’t-share-any-more-stories advice, and will once again spew random thoughts at you. Brain diarrhea, really.

  • Brandon Routh is too good-looking. In fact, he’s so handsome he’s not even attractive. Does that make sense? He’s got that vacant-J.Crew-catalogue kind of beauty that’s just a little too boring for me.
  • Is Superman supposed to be Jesus? If he is, there are some major metaphor holes going on in that movie. Okay, the metaphor is just one big hole. I think there are two Sons and two Fathers and no Holy Spirit. And Lois Lane is either Mary (the mother) or Mary (of Magdalene) or just some chick who is way too young and skinny. I’ll go with the third option. Eat something, Kate Bosworth.
  • Batman is cooler.
  • Toronto is supposed to be hotter tomorrow. I just may have to give up breathing. And moving.
  • I finally watched What’s Eating Gilmore Grape? Okay, so that’s a bit of a lie. I missed the beginning, and my grandma called me near the end (so I don’t really know what happened). I can, however, confidently admit that Leonardo was brilliant. As was Johnny.
  • My church is not air conditioned. I didn’t notice this until today. Again, if I didn’t need to breathe, it wouldn’t have been a problem.
  • “It’s better He hurt me now and heal me later than sugar-coat it now and have me suffer forever.” That’s all I remember from the sermon (re: uncomfortable truths: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.”)
  • My head hurts.
  • If I can’t afford a house and a cottage, I think I’ll go with the cottage and live there year-round. That’s the plan. Now I just need to afford the cottage.
  • French fries are great. I had McDonald’s fries today for the first time in-- and I’m serious here-- probably three years. I have missed them. I should eat them more often. To make sure I don’t end up like Kate Bosworth.
  • I saw the pilot episode of So Notorious. Here’s the problem: I don’t buy Tori Spelling as Tori Spelling. I was embarrassed for her. And then I was embarrassed for myself for watching it.

That’s all for now, folks. I’m sure I’ll enlighten you all with deeper thoughts and more thrilling stories later. When I feel like writing fiction or plagiarizing. Oh, and for a great laugh, check out the letter from John Cleese posted on my dad’s blog.

Hasta La Pasta,



SSS said...

You missed the end of What's Eating Gilbert Grape? That's the most important part.
What you feel for Tori Spelling is vicarious embarrassment. I only learned this was a true and studies phenomenon recently. Go figure.

michael lewis said...

If Superman is Jesus, and he obviously impregnated Lois/Mary (Magdalene of course, I mean, she's with that new guy, and they're not even married!), how did he do it?

I saw this film with my gay friend. Or my catholic friend. I can't remember. Either way, both were offended.

But back to the progeny....did he actually have to sleep with her? Or could he just fertilise her ovum with his x-ray vision?

That's got to be the only way for Superman to have a kid with Lois and still maintain his messianic status, which the film assumed throughout.