Saturday, March 29, 2008


"The endless string of first dates is unlikely to result in a lasting relationship, but it can occupy a woman's attention enough to distract her from killing herself."

Shortly before Valentine's, this video made its way around my workplace. And since then, I've had numerous discussions on the topic of online dating. And I'm still uncomfortable with it. I've made lame excuses, scoffed at the idea of marketing yourself, pointed the geek finger (which really can't be justified, as I'm a blogger), and accused users of being desperate or misrepresenting themselves. I've known people who now live "happily ever after" thanks to this thing we call "the Internet," but I still can't wrap my little head around it.

Okay, so fear of rejection aside, I think I've somewhat figured out my discomfort, whether legitimate or not:
  • I want to be pursued. Filling out a profile feels like I'm doing the work. "You won't come to me? I'll come to you. With a comprehensive list of everything you might want to know." I'm all about the John Eldredge "dangerous" hero. And dangerous heroes don't email; they show up on horses, brandishing swords, screaming "Freedom!" Plus, as mentioned in the last blog, I don't know that I'm all that capable of capturing the essence that is Nadine in a single paragraph.
  • I want to trust God. I'm uneasy with the idea of spending inordinate amounts of time (mostly head time) obsessing over a future that God already has mapped out. I don't want to be taking matters into my own hands. Because, quite frankly, my hands suck. I don't want to set myself up for even greater heartache if God wants me to be single. Really, in the grand scheme of things, whether I have a date Friday night or not is pretty insignificant. And I can still love and be loved without an "other." Not that I'm dreaming of a life that's solo. I'd just rather watch a greater plan unfold than worry about a catchy screen name. Because, really, coming up with something like WitChickWonder83 will totally stress me out.
(The only real pull is the curiosity factor. I think it would be hilarious to have a group of friends all submit personality profiles on eHarmony and see if the site matches up people who already know each other).

I don't know. Maybe I'll soften to the idea. But not yet. It's the same reason I can't tell you how many single guys are at my church. Or if the guy at the pub is looking at me or past me. Because I don't hone my radar like that. I am rather content to wait out any season of discontent.* I don't know that I could pull a Ruth and lie at Boaz's feet. I'd rather he just notice me out in the field.
We cannot fight for love, as men may do;
We should be woo'd and were not made to woo.
Helena ~ A Midsummer Night's Dream
*The def'n of "content" here is subjective. Sometimes it just means "not suicidal." And yes, the radar does make the occasional appearance. In fact, it goes through stages of overuse and malfunction....

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