I'm starting a new journal. Not because I feel the need to start over fresh, escaping themes and preoccupations plaguing the present one, but because said present one is full. Cover to cover. It's a remarkable tome of two very eventful years. And not just hormone-induced "oh, she's a girl" eventful. There's some heavy stuff in there. Fear, death, heartache, anxiety. With joy, risk-taking, fearlessness, infatuation and optimism rounding it out. Some of it almost reads as fiction. I am not the Nadine of 2007. For this, I am thankful. I am moving forward.
Maybe I'll quote from it one day. In short cryptic doses.
I'm hesitant to write the first entry in the new one. I don't know what to say. I feel as though there should be something significant going on in my life or my head before I start to scribble. I don't want the first page to be boring.
I don't want my life to be boring.
I recently discovered Donald Miller. I know, I'm a little slow. And I think I love him. I want to hike up a mountain with him and tell him all my secrets. And then we can sip wine and talk about story and why I desire an epic tale of my own. I crave memorable scenes. Strong characters. I want to be able to define what I want and then pursue it passionately. I want to sacrifice. I want my story to make me a stronger woman in the end. I want my life to read as a redemptive and meaningful narrative.
And as Don and I walk down the mountain, he'll tell me how to get a book deal.
3 comments:
i always start new journals with something along the lines of "I love starting a new journal, because..."
also, you should buy smaller journals so that you can experience change (at least on the journal front) more than every other year!
Did you know Don Miller is going to be speaking at the University of Waterloo on Sunday, October 25th?
I did hear that, Terry. I can't make it, but I think my brother's planning on going. I'll make him take notes :) Thanks for the heads up! I would LOVE to go.
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