A Life in Paper

I was completely uninspired to pursue job leads today. Sure, I applied for a job and posted a quick Gather.com item or two, but I had little desire to send out application upon application for gigs that barely pay and inspire even less.

It was time to purge.

When my space is cluttered, I can't focus. I feel defeated. So I spent my afternoon surrounded by stacks of paper, sorting through the paper trail created by four years of Toronto living. Oddly, I found things from 15 years ago. Paper must follow me.

My life in paper reads as half-fiction. Partly because I remember nothing, and partly because people send me lies.

P.S. I miss acting.

Things I found:

• Wrapping paper that says "hottie holidays." It's covered in the floating heads of Joshua Jackson, Will Smith, James Van Der Beek, Matt Damon, Nick Carter, Usher, Leo DiCaprio and Andrew Keegan.
• A program from Stratford with the lead actor's phone number scrawled across his bio.
• A postcard of a cartoon Toby Penner. Oh, Jake.
• The script from Oliver! I was Nancy in the SIXTH GRADE. And yes, it's the original copy.
• Monologues I wrote in university. Including the children's story about suicide.
• A napkin from East Side Mario's. I outlined the plot of a play on it.
• Two fake love letters. I don't remember ever receiving them. But they're clearly written by a girlfriend, pretending to be the man we quasi-stalked one summer. He's now married. And on TV. I'm neither.
• A letter that was probably supposed to be a love letter. But I was pretty stupid and didn't notice at the time. Boys, don't be subtle. We'll miss the awesomeness.
• A clipping from the school newspaper that favourably reviewed a performance of mine. The "cancer baby" play.
• A note from a woman at my parents' old church, strategically written to introduce me to her nephew. Hilarious. (Yep, I emailed him. And yep, we're still friends.)
• A lot of thank-you notes. Apparently I used to do a lot of kind stuff. Huh.
• A card that commented on my flirting skills. It took me almost 5 minutes to realize it was referencing a jazz opera I was in. I didn't recognize a single signature. Quiet panic.
• Floppy disks.
• The headshot of a middle-aged Kitchener-based actor I once worked with.
• My Exer-Clean Launderers contract. Yes, I have proof that I once did laundry for a living.